it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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