And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
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just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
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Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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