Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
As shirtless as possible
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
