just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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