So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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