I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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