Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
