okay pat passed out under dana's car
thus making me awesome and them whores
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
