Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize