I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to stick my p in your. b.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
