just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize