I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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