i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.