The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
