Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
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someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
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He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.