I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
