Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
All the doctor said was why
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
