We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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