How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
