i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
