i wish there were pregnant emoticons
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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