I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
