I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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