Can i not drive my cunt home
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You are the jesus of drinking
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
ok first of all what the fuck
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
