Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
