Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Where is the hickey?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
