dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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