turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
