taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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