awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
