You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Randomize
