My underwear smells like fireworks.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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