Having a random hookup so left but love u
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
