Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
