The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
