it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize