3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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