when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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