ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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