I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
