if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
