my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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