It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
