Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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