gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
