Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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