My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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