I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
this is an emotional support booty call
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize