so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize