the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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