who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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