oh god the rape fog is back!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
