Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
