why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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