Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
