Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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