Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
They have beer where we have blood.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
false alarm, still single
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